Faux paradise I call you home

When you move to Florida people forget to tell you about all the bad stuff. All you will see in your mind is a huge beach full of hot men holding mixed drinks. It is nothing like that in real life. There are long hard seasonal hours in whatever job field you are in. There are bugs.....tons and tons of nasty squishy bugs and if you have a dog there will be fleas. There is nothing you can do about it short of a plastic bubble. All summer will be a constant fight because it never gets cold enough here to kill the suckers off. However that being said, there are some pretty nice beaches and I do just absolutely love living all of ten minuets from them. The men thing is a complete myth.

Realizing this morning that I am in the middle of what is soon to be a break-up of enormous proportions I should be very upset. But I'm just not. I am looking forward to having my home all to myself. Of being able to sleep in the middle of the bed WITH MY DOG! Of being able to eat or not eat whatever I want. Most of all of not having to chase after ten million billion half drank cans of coke. That's going to be real exciting like for me.

This is my list for men I need to find in the future:(courtesy of the SPQ)


1. someone who can fix things
2. someone you can dance with
3. someone who can pay for things
4. someone you can talk to
5. someone to have great sex with

Now if I can find all of those in one....well that would just be peachy!

I feel like life is just about to get interesting.

I've made yet another move

I am so glad to be back ya'll. How many times have I said that now?

Life has changed so dramatically in the last few months my head is still spinning. I have moved yet again and I started a new job.

The new abode is taking shape. Its going to take a while yet because I am determined not to purchase anything unless it's on sale, I love it, and perfect for the dream house in my mind.




This is my new chair, they match my flower pots perfectly and I got a PAIR of them for $20. The photo is a little sloppy because it's a cell phone shot but you get the idea. I will have more pics as the abode progresses. I see some yard sailing this weekend.

I will be back soon to add more updates. Have a great day Ya'll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Marlene's Perfect Pasta Salad!

This here is one of the very best, top of my list past salads. We recently had a cook out at the new humble home. Well Stephanie's mom brought ....you guessed it pasta salad. Here I am expecting the classic elbow noodles and mayo concoction that is at every event only to be pleasantly surprised by this amazing mix. Let me first state my problem with classic pasta salad recipes. I hate when they are so sweet they make your teeth ache, however if they are tangy enough then they leave a horrid after taste in your mouth. This recipe solves both problems and it's basic enough to make it your own.

You will need:
1 jar of Marzetti "Classic Slaw" dressing (this is non negotiable...this makes the recipe)
2 tbs of mayo (I prefer Dukes if it's available....just no low fat or the dreaded miracle whip)
1/2 a cup of onion-chopped
1 1/2 cups of celery-chopped
2 hard boiled eggs-chopped
1 can of tuna/chicken your choice
Salt and pepper to taste
1 cup of shredded carrots if you like them (they add a nice crunch)
1 box of your preference of noodles. I like shells, Mizz Marlene used spirals...my mama loves elbows...pick your pleasure.

Boil your noodles according to the directions on the box, or Al Dente for this recipe.
Rinse them in cold water and drain well.

Then just dump all the rest in a bowl with the noodles, mix well and refrigerate for at least one hour. Now enjoy and thank me later y'all.

A word to the wise about this recipe. This is a very basic recipe that you can add or remove what you like. When I had it the first time it had carrots but no egg or salt and pepper. However unless you truly love onions in the extreme I would not add more than half a cup. For whatever reason this dressing makes the onions really stand out. I have found that half a cup delivers the perfect amount of flavor, and I like onions. I also add more celery because I really enjoy the crunch with the noodles. This works equally well with canned chicken or tuna. I like the tuna but some people don't. Now you can leave the carrots out, however they add some color and a small bit of taste.

I just had to bring y'all this recipe because it is that good. Really yummy. Since I now live in a place where going to the store requires going "into town" I do a lot of cooking. I am trying out beef pepper steak tonight. I will let you know how it goes.

With the beau working all day and me only working weekends I am about to loose my mind with all this free time. I have been doing a lot of reading lately but I have yet to read anything worth passing on. Even with all the boredom and free time driving me crazy(never thought I could have to much free time) I am still happy to be out of the crazies house. The level of stress relief that brought is amazing.

I hope everyone else is doing well. Kelsey the old lady and I are just unpacking and adjusting to life in the country. Have a great week!

Life when you have to go"in to town" for everything.

I am happy to say that we are no longer living with the crazies. I am unhappy to say that the chance of getting a pizza delivered to the new place is right up their with flying pigs. Which there are plenty of down the road from me. Not the flying variety but pigs none the less.

I highly enjoy being able to exist with out dealing with the crazies doing strange and unexplainable things. For example the day before we were set to move out the step-monster felt the need to scratch and gouge up all the furniture the dad said we could take with. His exact words were "if you don't take it I'm going to throw it in with the trash on Tuesday". Now it's not priceless antiques but it's a bed and a dresser we didn't have before. I thought his wording was pretty clear.....yes we can take this furniture......is what I thought. However step-monster apparently felt the need to pay us back for "stealing right out from under her" her beloved water warped fiberboard headboard and the dresser with the missing handles and broken drawer tracks by completely ruining them before we took them with. Notice the frugality I have shown by not running out and purchasing brand new furniture just so I can say...fine you want it you keep it now that you have messed it up! This may end up being necessary though since every time I look at the furniture I get a wash of seething anger. There is also the never ending accusations of us stealing all matter of things from the house. "I had three cartons of yogurt not two!"-"I bet she took the scrunchy I wore with my nursing uniform in 1982!"-"I can't believe they took the remote control to OUR bedroom TV". This list is never ending. If the step-monster(who I will call fudgy face from now on due to the constant consuming of fudgsicles which she promptly smears all over her face in her Xanex induced haze" has managed to misplace something in one of her inebriated states then we have taken the item just to spite her. Because oh Lordy B I really had a thing for that chocolate smeared scrunchy with the little fuzzy craft balls hanging off the edges!



That is the end of my venting! Now on to the good stuff. I am interviewing for another job......one that isn't 48Min's from the new house. The new roommates don't completely stink which is good for my mental state. The old lady has also somewhat bonded with the new puppy..Duncan or Dumkin depending on the mood which is also good so I don't have to play dog mediator all the time. That's about it. I am so much less stressed since leaving that house that I can actually sleep at night and everything is so much easier to deal with now. God love peaceful living situations!

Do you have to spend money to make money? No!

I have heard this age old expression more times then I can count. I am currently in a budget crisis.....ok I lied...the crisis part ended last week but I was in denial about it until a few days ago so that doesn't count. Here is the thing though...just because I am no longer hunting for pennies under the couch this doesn't mean that I should go on a spending rampage. I will admit that in the past I have had a bit of a shopping problem. As in I left at 9 in the morning and didn't come home till 9 at night with bags and bags of things. It was so bad that when I was packing to move I found things I didn't even remember buying brand new in their bags, tags still firmly attached. Since I am well aware that I have a large problem with self control I haven't even gone near anything other than a grocery store in fear that just seeing items I can purchase will send me into palpitations. Now I am armed with a plan......I am ready.....I can do no wrong...nothing can stop me. Budget here I come. This will be my first experience with a real budget, it used to be that my budget was just acknowledging how much I had left in my checking account and not getting an overdraft. The only issue with this plan is that some of the things I want to do(like a garden) are semi-permanent and I am in a non permanent house with the crazies. These are my plans.

I will start a garden, this will be free for the most part......$20 investment max. Our friends are moving to the next city over and the have given me free reign to transplant and salvage whatever I can out of their established garden. Hopefully this will cut down on our grocery bill since fresh produce is so expensive. We may have to go with out having all of our favorites but it will teach me to be creative with what we have.

I will not buy unless it is on sale (excluding things like milk and basics that almost never go on sale) I am a coupon cutting queen and I am going to pay closer attention so I can take advantage of all the sales and the manufactures discount with the store discount. I have been told you can actually make money doing this what with rebates and in store cash and what not.

Take better advantage of generic items. I am already pretty good at this. I have tried just about everything out there in generic and name brand. There are a few where the generic is honestly not even close to edible/usable....a few where it's not preferable but it will do the job.....and ones where if I didn't see the box I honestly wouldn't know the difference. I will start a store by product list on this in case anyone is interested.

These last things to be honest will not mean much until we move out of our current residence and into one of our own but it's still a goal.

I have said before that I am a trash picker. It's the thrill of the hunt, the high you get when you find that incredible item and all you have to do is find a way to get it home and it's yours free and clear! I am not ashamed of this, to be perfectly honest I would be more ashamed of paying retail for all the things I have found. Just last weekend I found a set of gorgeous wicker swivel bar stools that basically just need to be cleaned and freshly painted. Those things would have been over a $100 each at a home decor store if not more! I'm not saying I could furnish my whole house(although that could be a future goal depending on how this goes) out of free or close to free items but I can probably do a good part. If you can get a quality item used for less then you would pay for a poorer quality item new......why not?

Be energy efficient. I have done the research and have concluded this.....you can cut about 60% off of the average utility bill if you just do a few things. First put all of your normal appliances on a power bar, at the end of the night turn the whole power bar off not just hitting the off switch on the tv... ect. You would not believe how much power those things use when they don't even appear to be on! Break down and get the energy saving 5 year warranty light bulbs. They use less power and you don't have to purchase as many in the long run. They do cost a bit more up front but it's still less then you would spend on the electric and all those other bulbs. This last one I'm not to sure on...I need to do some more research. But from what I can tell if you sign up for the alternative time plan with your electric company and try to do all your energy sucking things during the off time you can cut off quite a bit.

Ok that's enough rambling for now............any hints or suggestions? Feel free to comment away!

It's not a whine it's stating the facts!

Since I have decided to give up my need to whine I thought I would also start the diet I have been meaning to start since I got here. In addition to these new exciting changes I now have to be up and motivated at 7am so that I can fix my dear boyfriends lunch before he leaves for work in the morning. This does not make for a happy girl. In the best of circumstances (like when there are blueberry turnovers and hot fresh chicory coffee with real cream and cane sugar waiting for me at the table on antique pink and gold Spode bone china, none of which I can eat on the new diet) I am withdrawn on good days and down right ornery on bad days. I need at least one cup of coffee and half an hour by myself in order to turn into the happy cheerful girl I usually try to be. However I am almost positive the dear boy's parents wait with their ears to the door so they can corner me in the kitchen and tell me about their latest pity party. Their newest complaint is that I am not being understanding of all their daily pains. One of the side effects of this new no whining thing is I have a hard time listening to someone else do it for a prolonged period of time. I am more of the fix it or hush attitude. The step-mother has also taken to pulling all the rugs off of the floor as a hint she would like it washed. Her son has taken to leaving spoiling cups of coffee and cemented bowls of breakfast cereal in his room until I start doing dishes and then he conveniently starts cleaning out his room leaving me with the unhappy task of scrubbing the 32 going on 10 year olds dirty dishes. I'm told my eyes have started to glaze over with alarming frequency....I am also getting daily "stress headaches" so that I can hide in my room with a good book and not have to be depressed by all the make believe malady's these people get.

Nobody has been mysteriously harmed yet so I figure I'm doing pretty good. If I make it the whole month of August with out losing it completely I think I'm going to give in and get the antique piggy cookie jar off of Ebay. Since I can't eat cookies I'm a little afraid this could lead to more aggravation then it's worth but I might not be able to help myself. I think I am going to have to start cooking some inventive low-everything that makes me fat meals and I will post photos and recipes of them as I come up with them. If anyone has some good ideas please let me know.

I hope all is going well with everyone else and you all are having a great summer!

It has been more than forever!

I am back for good I am happy to say! Just an up date I am still in Fort Myers FL trying to make it big. Or at least just make it somewhere. I have a job and a roof over my head so I am not going to complain.......to much....at least right now. How is everybody? I haven't had much of a chance to do my interneting lately but that is about to change. I have been reading quite a lot lately and there is a book I would like to bring to your attention. It is called Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban Breathnach. If you (like myself) have been having those woe is me moments lately this book will really put things in perspective. Granted it was written in 1995 when things were not quite as bad as they are now but it is still very relevant for today. Basically it is about a page and a half for every day of the year. They each deal with different things on just about any topic. I read mine in the morning with my coffee before I start my day. A few of the topics that she brings up through the book(because I'm a sneak and I can't wait till the August chapter so I read ahead) are compromise, compassion, confidence, compliments,confrontation, and complaining. I never realized how much of my day starts with the letter C.(Just bringing us grown up people back to the sesame street days). I personally live with one heck of a complainer. They complain as if it is their life's blood, and maybe it is but I have realized a change in myself from being around them and its not a good one. I am starting to do it myself.

Since I have moved down here a number of really unpleasant things have happened. I have had every valuable thing I brought down here stolen(for those kindred hearts of mine who will understand this......the rat bastard took my Louie. My precious vintage Louie Vuittion that took me months to find....that I had to have repaired and lovingly mended so I could continue to carry it like the wonderful lady that owned it before me) the fiend took my diamond solitaire earrings that I got at 90% discount after an hour of arguing with the manager about the validity of my coupon as it applied to the going out of business sale. I'm not usually that woman who throws the fit in public but by God I had a valid coupon and it was the only way I was ever going to be able to afford those earrings. I didn't come down here with much...and to have the best of what I brought down here taken from me more than likely by someone I know was just simply too much. I used to take the old lady on long long walks and I was usually crying by the time I got done. Being away from my home and not even having the comforts that I brought with me just made every day a little less glowing. One of the vehicles I brought down here is no longer running with a huge repair tag on it at that. Then to top it off the people I live with are just crazy...literally off of their rockers and out of their minds. I would tell you the stories but you wouldn't believe me. Needless to say I was going batty. Just plain batty. Then I started reading this book. I am not going to say it is life changing but it is day changing. I don't know how much stress everyone who might read this is under. I consider myself pretty blessed and I know there are times I don't even want to open my eyes in the morning because I'm afraid the day ahead could be worse then the one before it but now I have figured out the trick. You have to take pleasure and happiness where you can find it. It sounds much simpler then it is. You have to do some searching and some thinking but it's possible. Get up and remember to be a little thankful for what you do have. Enjoy the sunshine and your pet if you have one. I'm not saying that nothing bad is going to happen and that all the stress will melt away but people we have to do something to cope and live happy. So that's my new goal....to Live Happy. No more complaining.....compliment everyone you can.....look for a little bit of gold in everything.